A repost from CaringBridge, May 1, 2019
I’m struck tonight by how much we take for granted in life. God bestows on us breath and the ability to think and talk and move. These are all such gifts. We take being able to say “I love you,” “I need…,” “I wish…,” “I feel..,” “I hurt…” as a given. Getting out of bed and walking outside seem like a right, not a gift. Watching someone struggle who doesn’t have these abilities is so hard, so painful, so sad. It makes me better understand the great gift life is and reminds me to be thankful for all the little things. It helps me focus on the small miracles and reminds me to thank God for my own health.
I’d be lying, though, if watching a loved one suffer doesn’t also make me question why? Why does God allow such suffering? What on earth could be His reason? Before his strokes Dad was so vibrant and animated and outgoing. He seems trapped now, behind a veil, trying to get out, but unable. Sometimes he seems sad and defeated. Who can blame him? Sometimes, just behind the veil, we see glimpses of the the Dad we know is in there. This gives us hope again. But, there is still always that question, Why? We don’t ask it often, because we have faith that God has a plan and a purpose, and we ask ourselves who are we to question that plan? As one of my favorite songs goes, “What do I know of Holy?”
Yet, tonight, I find myself boldly asking – Why? What should we all be learning from this journey? What is Dad feeling and thinking? How is he growing closer to You, Lord? Who might be finding You through this tragedy? Who is learning to cling to Your promises by watching our Dad do just that – cling to You?
My prayer tonight is that we would find peace sitting with all these unanswered questions; that we would feel comfort knowing You are here even when it’s hard; that we would build faith as we learn to trust You in the unknown; that we would find strength in the love You show us through friends and family. You are a good God even when our circumstances are not good. Thank you for giving us a Dad and Papa who instilled that truth in us so deeply, so securely, so confidently, that even now, as we watch that man suffer, we know You are here with us.
Faith, Family & Life 